Mentoring for Individuals & Couples

Mentoring with Becky added a deeper level to the work I was able to do in the Academy. I became aware of specific memories that were connected to the feelings of being unseen and inadequate that I’ve carried my whole life. I met the different “parts” of myself, including the ones that are so angry or alone,  and experienced what it feels like to hold those parts of myself in unconditional love and acceptance. I can’t explain in words how this work has shifted me, but I can say that I don’t feel like I’m trapped in my anger anymore. I feel like when those parts of me show up, I know how to care for them. I’ve learned how to love myself. The anger hasn’t disappeared, but I can find peace underneath it when it’s there.

I started mentoring with Becky when I started Undone Academy. I worked through so many old traumas through the tools of mindfulness and guided meditation. It is amazing to experience how the body knows where that pain is held and where it came from. I’ve been working with her for almost three years now and it’s become a staple in my wellness routine. I’m not in crisis anymore but there’s still more to discover.

As I think back to myself even 6 months ago I can’t believe how far I’ve come. I feel like I was laying the groundwork for years leading up to finding Becky’s work, and then when I was in a place that I could really show up and be accountable to myself it has felt like this fast track to my healing and awakening.

But I had to be ready and willing to honestly look at my trauma and honestly look at myself. I have learned a lot about myself in this process. I am really good at being in the victim role. And until I recognized that and took accountability for that I could not heal any further. I have learned that healing is messy and painful but that I can be with this pain.

I feel like I have had the most transformative months of my life since working with Becky. I feel like I jumped on a speeding train to healing, processing and letting go. I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this time of my life.

I know this might sound weird, but I would honestly tell you that this program and mentoring with Becky has saved my life. I really believe it has, and my wife would definitely tell you it has. Over the past two years, I’ve had things come up in my life that I would not have been able to deal with without this program. I can’t explain enough the impact it’s had on my mental health. I’ve shared it with so many family members because I want them to have what I have.

This program has kept me sober from alcohol since I left rehab two years ago. The Academy itself has been amazing but adding occasional mentoring sessions with Becky really added another level to what I’ve been able to see about myself. Once I learned how to see and feel the emotions driving my addictive behaviors, I was able to find my Higher Self. I’m still a work in progress, and it’s like a safety net to know these resources are here and I can schedule a session if I get stuck.

Both my husband and I had been unfaithful over the course of our ten-year marriage. We were on the brink of divorce when I came to this program. My husband and I began mentoring with Becky and it’s given us the tools, safety, vocabulary, and self-awareness to begin to talk about these painful issues in a way that’s helping us finally heal. After so many years of just checking out and avoiding conflict, it’s been hard work to finally face it all. But it’s been so worth it. I know we would never have been able to get to this point without Becky’s help and all the tools we’ve learned through the Academy.

I’ve done lots of work on not identifying as an anxious person. For most of my life, a lot of my trauma came from the fact that I thought I was unchangeable and incapable of most of the things I wanted or tried to do because of my anxiety. Working with that, I’ve realized that I actually fed into that belief and was unconsciously choosing to keep myself inside of that bubble because it was safe and comfortable. Some part of myself had decided this was the only way to stay safe and that I was actually protecting myself despite all the suffering.

As I’ve gotten further along in the process of mindfulness and sitting with my feelings I’ve learned that usually the things I was so afraid of aren’t all that bad, and as I accept them more and more they come along less and less. Allowing myself to sit with things and be uncomfortable has expanded my capacity to live in every way possible. I’ve started to do things I never thought I’d be able to do in my life because of Becky’s program and our regular mentoring sessions.

I’ve struggled with shame my whole life around my sexuality–porn, masturbation, and also infidelity in my marriage. It’s been really interesting to start mentoring with Becky. We started just with the mindfulness basics–learning how to be present, to not think, to just be. Learning to watch my patterns and notice the stories I tell myself and where I feel emotions in my body.

Over time, we’ve been able to connect with the parts of me that I realize I’ve tried to hide my whole life. It’s so weird to see them as these young versions of me, and I can see how they were afraid. I can see how they were trying to protect me. I don’t know if I can say I’ve forgiven myself, but mentoring sessions have given me experiences that have opened my eyes to a different view of myself than I ever had before.

I’ve realized I can take full accountability for my actions without hating myself. In fact, taking accountability helps me respect myself more. I feel less shame. When I’m using the tools, I can see myself honestly, with compassion.