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For My Heart-led Free Spirits & Misfits

Do you ever feel like you’re not sure where you belong?

This fall, I’ve been noticing the random bright yellow branches that stick out like a sore thumb on bright green trees that seem to be otherwise happily hanging on to the full swing of summer.

What is it about these singular branches that forced a change–a shift to a new season–on a different schedule than all of their companions?

And does that solitary branch ever feel resentful, ashamed, or isolated as it sits so obviously separate from the safety of the group?

I’ve lived many moments that make me feel a sisterhood with these branches.

Moments where my life was unraveling so rapidly that I couldn’t make small talk at soccer games or volunteer for class parties like the other moms.

Moments at gatherings with family or friends where political, religious, or critical rants were the only acceptable conversation, so I retreated to silence rather than stir the pot or join the mob.

Moments in church pews, where my entire congregation all seemed to be nodding their heads in agreement and I was fighting the urge to hurl my shoe at the speaker.

When loss, betrayal, or life itself has forced you into a transition so deep that you no longer see the world the way you did before…

…when your strong opinions shrivel up and you crave the sweet stillness of unapologetically not-knowing…

…you sometimes feel like a misfit.

When this happens, sometimes the people you love don’t even know what to do with you.

You become a puzzle piece changing shape. Nothing fits the same anymore.

And while this seasoning surrender might be the most sacred and beautiful thing that can happen to any living being on this planet…

It can also feel supremely lonely.

If your soul-leaves are brightening to a more brillant hue or deepening into a richer shade and you suddenly feel out of sync with the branches you’ve always belonged to…

…I hope you take time to saunter through crisp air and hear the crunch of rusty leaves on the ground underneath you this week.

Surrender to the Autumn energy of releasing what no longer serves.

And as you do, breathe in an entire Universe that is hell-bent on growth, evolution, expansion, change.

Look around. The leaves are letting go, and they don’t all change color at the same time.

Each one has its own timetable.

There is room for a million perspectives.

To quote my dear friend, Mel: There are million pathways to the Divine.

So here’s to you, my misfits and free spirits. My wanderers who feel too much to not let their heart lead the way.

You are not alone.

You are not a freak.

You are not lost.

You’re just a little ahead in the game of letting go.

Don’t doubt yourself.

With your feet on the ground, your eyes wide open, and your heart guiding you, you’re perfectly on your imperfect way.

Thank you for playing a part in waking up the world, simply by having the courage to be precisely, unapologetically who you are.

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The Answer Is Not in the Expert

Five years ago, my husband surprised me with tickets to “An Evening with Eckhart Tolle, live at the Chicago Theatre.” Our seats were less than ten rows back and I couldn’t wait to be only feet away from the person who’d changed my life so dramatically.

I had been on my own journey of awakening for five years at the time, and two years earlier, I’d somehow stumbled into Eckhart: an adorable little German man in a sweater vest on YouTube. In almost every talk, he spoke unrehearsed about one singular thing: the essentials of spiritual awakening, finding the present moment, transcending the ego, surrender.

His words gave language to the internal shifts I’d been experiencing for the past year, and I fell in love with the clarity, presence, and Namaste I felt in this unpretentious little man.

I devoured his book The Power of Now and more often than not was streaming his talks from YouTube. Most days when my kids piled into the car for after school rides, they would buckle in and say, “Mom, is this Eckhart again?”

So when I stepped into the Chicago Theatre on a windy March Saturday night, my stomach was butterflies. By this time, I’d read all of Eckhart’s works and watched him on Oprah. I had listened to so many hours of his talks I could often predict his answers to the questions people posed to him in his customary Q&A’s. To me, he was the most influential person on the planet.

I settled into my seat and felt the grandeur of the golden scaffoldings around the stage, the pomp of the velvet red curtain.

I closed my eyes and reached for my husband’s hand. I felt the heat of our fingers intertwined as I breathed all the way down to the soles of my feet. I wanted my heart to calm, my ears to open. I wanted to be fully present for this moment. I didn’t want to miss a thing.

The people sitting behind us were buzzing in conversation and I was surprised to hear two women gossiping and complaining about some trivial matter. How could they be tied up in such trivial matters at such an important moment? Did they have any clue about who this man was or the heart of his teachings?

When the curtain rose and Eckhart shuffled across the stage in his sweater vest and settled into the plain chair set for him in the middle of an empty stage, my stomach leapt and my eyes sprung with tears.

Eckhart’s eyes squinted as his face surveyed the crowd with his customary grin. He grinned and breathed for several minutes, collecting himself in total presence before he finally started to talk.

Eckhart talked that night for three hours, with no script and no agenda, as he always does. I don’t think I remember a single thing that he said, actually, but I do remember the frequency I felt from him: the presence, the Namaste, the steadying calm. Whenever I forget who I am, I can listen to Eckhart Tolle speak, and I am somehow reconnected with my own portal to the Divine.

But what I remember most about that night is when the curtain dropped. The people behind me stood up and remarked how wonderful the talk was before starting back in on their gossipy rants.

How peculiar, I thought as I sat in my chair, breathed down to my feet again, and let it all settle as the crowd emptied from the red seats around me and Nate.

What was I feeling? A confusion stirring within me, a cloud dissipating, Something New, a knowing that had been growing for a long time settling into Something More Solid than it had ever been before.

The distinct understanding that nothing was offered tonight, nothing was available here in this theater that I flew across the country for and paid hotels and tickets for that I didn’t already have.

That with all the love I felt and feel for this remarkable little man and all the ways I honor the role he has played in the evolution of the human race, that he himself is not what is so valuable that millions of people would buy his book and thousands would buy expensive tickets to see him live at auditoriums or retreats.

What is so so valuable is What is coming through him.

And I realized that that Thing, that Presence, that Divine Stillness and Clarity, was also taking root in me… as I practiced finding and feeling It in the mundane existence of my daily life.

I realized deep down in my bones that awakening doesn’t come from flying to Chicago and seeing Eckhart Tolle in person, or practicing yoga and meditation with his wife Kim, as we’d done earlier that day.

My most valuable assets in the incredible awakening happening inside of me were the structures and frameworks I had at home that were keeping me aware, accountable, and in contact with the Presence that Eckhart talks about:

My weekly meetings where I touch in and stay focused on the state of my own heart and mind. My 12-step sponsor whom I often reached out to for real-time feedback as I navigated all the ups and downs of having my entire worldview dissolve around me. The embodied mindfulness tools that helped me cut through the chaos and clutter, one moment at a time, and breathe my way out of my old unconscious reactions to find Something Higher at my center, able to guide me in ways I had never experienced before.

These simple, unimpressive structures of my daily life were worth more than any guru. And the Light I felt and feel in His Teachings are simply a reflection of the Light that also lives in me. In you. In each and every one of us on the planet.

It’s a far cry from reading somebody’s book or listening to their podcast and living the principles that resonate enough to keep you listening. To walk the walk, you need a lifestyle and network that supports the changes you want to make.

From that moment on, I became deeply passionate about offering others the framework of healing I’d been so generously given:

  • embodied awareness/personal meditation practice
  • mindfulness-based, trauma-informed understanding of the mechanics of spiritual healing
  • Regular touchpoints and accountability – weekly meetings
  • Mentors who are at least two steps ahead of me on the path

I dedicated the next 3 years of my life as Executive Director in a 12-step non-profit, where I did my best to incorporate all these tools into our 12-step non-profit. I wrote recovery manuals, weekly blog posts, spoke at Conferences, and led Women’s Retreats.

I witnessed hundreds of individuals and couples heal from heart-wrenching traumas and betrayals, turning life-shattering tragedies into vehicles toward a more awakened and compassionate heart, and stronger families.

Four years ago, I left the 12-step world to bring this framework to a more Universal audience with my partner Nesha through Lifehouse Body and Soul, because I know in my bones that this framework has the ability to lead any willing heart to the same knowing, the same Light that emanates so richly from Eckhart Tolle and others like him.

There is nothing in them that is not also in you. The clarity, peace, and presence they have is simply a product of the practice they’ve put in and the unwavering desire they have for it.

There is nothing stopping you from committing yourself to the same practice. From jumping into the same deconstruction of your small, armored, striving self.

There is nothing out there that is not already right here, within you.

When you’re ready to let go and let yourself be undone, we’ll be here, with the simple structure that can carry you gently, one step, one moment at a time, as you learn how to peel back the fear and conditioning, and uncover the Divine Love that’s just waiting to flow unfettered from your miraculous human heart.

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Are You In for the Daily Sit Challenge?

People who are newcomers to meditation often come to me expressing the same basic sentiment:

“Becky, I think there’s something wrong with me. I cannot sit still for more than 30 seconds! I just don’t think I will ever be a meditator. It’s not the way I’m wired.”

Don’t worry–I can relate, and so can my partner Nesha. We both had to do a 7-day Silent Retreat as part of our 2-year Meditation and Mindfulness Teacher Certification, and we both found it very challenging.

Nesha shared how after a few days, she had talked herself into the conclusion that she was “just a doer, not a sitter.”

As she met with the Retreat Facilitator at the end of the week for a personal interview, she shared this theory and was met with a blank stare.

“That’s not actually a thing, you understand.”

Nesha started explaining how busy she had always kept herself in her daily life, how she ran a business and juggled tasks and how this is just the way she was wired. But she was still left without validation or excuse.

The cold hard fact is this: nobody’s brain is wired for meditation.

In fact, our modern world is constantly conditioning us to stay in the lowest levels of our brain function: our Default Network and Dorsal Attention Network where we’re primarily focused on the tasks of survival, maintaining stability, seeking pleasure and avoiding pain.

It takes practice and consistency to be able to access the higher levels of brain function found in our Present-Centered Network, where Gamma brain waves give us access to insight, creativity, strokes of genius…even a Divine intelligence beyond our own.

Just like a novice runner lacks the endurance and muscle tone required for long distances, so does a novice meditator lack the neural pathways that allow for a transcendent meditative experience.

The only way to get there is to practice: to strengthen those muscles through consistency and repetition, even when you don’t feel like it.

Those of us engaged in the Lifehouse Body & Soul Course in Mindful Living show up each week looking for peace, clarity, insight, purpose…a solution to our problems and a sense of progress in our lives.

Strengthening our Presence Muscle, the neural pathways that connect us back to our Present-Centered Network, is absolutely essential to our ability to realize the results we’re looking for.

That’s why we’re inviting you all to our Daily Sit Challenge!

Starting today, we’re asking you to track the number of consecutive days you practice a Daily Sit: anywhere from 2-5 minutes of formal meditation practice.

You can use this time to practice the anchors of presence (breath, sense perceptions, inner body awareness). You can use it to practice observing and naming the thoughts and emotions that arise. You can repeat a mantra or gaze at the flame of a candle.

We’ll track our days until we are left with a winner or small group of winners who will receive a prize and be featured on our social media and email, to share the insights they’ve gained from the experience.

Keep checking in on our social media to track your progress and stay in the running!

https://www.instagram.com/lifehousefit/

We hope you’ll join us for our Daily Sit Challenge!

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Can your wildest dreams really just drop out of the sky?

At New Year’s 2023, I’d been writing the story of my trauma journey for almost 9 years when I boarded an airplane. I knew I felt called to share my experience to help others, and I also knew I needed help to get it where I wanted it. 

But I had no idea how to find help–I’d sent the manuscript to a dozen publishers over the years and never gotten anything but polite rejection emails. I had mentally put the project on the shelf and thrown myself into more present logistical tasks: for years this meant admin work at the 12-step non-profit. Now it meant building my own mindfulness studio.

We had scarcely reached cruising altitude when I opened my laptop to type “Publish my betrayal trauma manuscript” as an official New Year intention.  

Not five minutes later, the woman sitting next to me leaned over and asked: “What do you do for a living?”

Now I’m not one to get into small talk on airplanes, but I love my work, so I started to explain my mindfulness and wellness studio in Utah: Lifehouse Body & Soul. It quickly became clear that we were kindred spirits. 

Over the course of the flight, I learned that Marissa is an author, poet, editor, and publisher in the spiritual and transformational space. She is from Wisconsin, like me, lives in Montana now–in the middle of nowhere–and is basically the exact person on the planet to publish my book. 

“Send me the manuscript tomorrow and I’ll see if it’s something we can work with. We can talk logistics from there,” she said as we gathered our suitcases and bags. 

I walked off the airplane in shock, floating on a cloud, my stomach butterflies and my head buzzing. Within days, we’re under contract and my almost-forgotten labor of love is on its way into the world.

Holy crap. The exact person I’d been searching for for 9 years—literally, dropped out of the sky and into my lap.

Experiences like this still give me the chills, and one after another, they’ve paved the path of every step that’s taken me to where I am.

I never thought I would start my own business. Never had any inkling to run a non-profit. Even as an idealistic English major at BYU, I never dreamed I would actually be published.

(Undone, Unafraid: Evolving through trauma, betrayal, femininity and faith. Set to release on October 12th, 2024—you’re invited! 😉

It’s all just so…unbelievable. And it all started with that deep-level decision: to fully commit myself to a supportive community with the right tools, and then let go and trust. 

Every time I think of my rock bottom, I see myself huddled under bed covers in the dark, shaking and alone and totally powerless…and I feel it all so personally. That moment was so real. 

I don’t want anyone to go through what I went through—believing they’re alone and powerless and that barely surviving is the best they can hope for. 

I want to shout it from the rooftops—Where you are is not the end! In fact, it’s the beginning of a more passionate and fulfilling life than you’ve even imagined. All you need are the right tools: and they’re right here–inside you!

My life has become a Love Note to the Universe: a thank-you for the incredible journey that’s made all the ugly stuff so beautiful and purposeful. 

I do what I do because I truly, deeply care. I do what I do because giving back is a part of my own healing journey. I do what I do because I truly feel that I have a responsibility to the Universe to give to others what I have so generously received, and I know that, with all my imperfections, I’ve become uniquely suited to do so. 

Healing isn’t something you can learn from a textbook or a PhD. It’s a spiritual art, an embodied and engaged lifestyle passed along through lived-experience warriors who help us find our way. We can’t do it alone.

The Body & Soul programs will help you find and become such a warrior. I can’t point you to a place with a more complete framework— support, practices, and structure—to help you find your best self on the deepest level. 

If you’re ready, it’s the perfect time to join us. Our Fall Programs kick off in the middle of August: online and in-person for Youth (12-18), Young Adults, General Adults, and Women. 

It’s within you to do it, and nobody else can do it for you. If you’ve got a willing heart, the right tools are right here waiting for you. 

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When you jump off a cliff and land on a springboard

Slowly but surely, everything in my life changed after that moment of total surrender. Initially, those changes looked scary. My husband and I separated—my heart-centered response to the dissonance I still felt between us.

But over time, each next-right-step carved space for a new, healthier reality to emerge. It was like every time I paused to check my heart, my small fearful ego was stepping back to make room for God to enter the equation. And He did.

I knew when to hold boundaries and when to open my heart. I could feel my next right step from the alignment I felt within me each time I paused to look there in trust.

My husband and I were eventually able to create a new marriage between us with awareness and accountability for all the “stuff” we habitually bring into our relationship.

Ten years later, he is completely sober from sexual acting out, and we’re still growing, stronger than we’ve ever been.

There is nothing we cannot discuss, no part of ourselves we hold back from each other. We are truly, deeply, in it together.

And this miraculous, surrendered pathway has not only brought healing to my relationships, it has skyrocketed every single aspect of my life.

Since then, expanding opportunities have seemed to drop into my lap, right out of the sky, including:

  • Teaching embodiment through fitness to thousands of University students at BYU and UVU for almost 20 years as a group exercise instructor and program coordinator.
  • Running a 12-step non-profit for betrayal trauma and sexual addiction for 3 years as the Executive Director where I learned invaluable lessons on how group healing happens.
  • Starting a mindfulness and wellness studio with my partner Nesha—who I was totally led to through an illogical, gut-level, trauma-related prompting.
  • Taking my 200-level Yoga Training in 2020–even amidst the COVID-19 pandemic!
  • Graduating from a 2 year training (2021-2023) as a Certified Mindfulness and Meditation Teacher through Jack Kornfield and Tara Brach, in partnership with the UC Berkeley Greater Good Science Center & Awareness Training Institute
  • Graduating from the Teachers of Presence Program with Eckhart Tolle (2023)
  • Studying again with Jack Kornfield (June 2024) in his amazing Interactive Guided Meditation Master Class
  • Guiding and journeying with clients through traumas and transitions of all types:
  • losing a spouse, losing a child, the crisis of betrayal/infidelity, long-term addiction recovery, body issues, disordered eating, lifelong battles with anxiety/OCD, navigating faith transitions, healing perfectionism, helping people to deepen their faith. I truly feel, as I’m able to witness these sacred moments of healing and release, that I am on holy ground with fellow travelers.
  • Continuing to strengthen and improve my relationships with my husband and children: Nate and I just celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary and it keeps getting better. We’ve come so far and still have more progress to make!

As I write them out, I’m still in shock at the amazing places this unbelievable road has taken me: to places I never dreamed I’d go.

I truly believe similar adventures are waiting for you–waiting for anyone who makes the same gut-level decision to let go, commit to the Highest within them, and leap into the unknown with an open, willing heart.

Tomorrow, you’ll get my last email, with the most unbelievable part of my wild ride… and my best invitation into your own adventure, if you’re ready to take it.

Your fellow on the journey,

Becky

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When the plot twist is exactly what you didn’t know you needed

Attending that first Conference marked a moment of decision for me: a decision to do whatever it took to heal–fully. To let go of the fears that had been holding me back–the fears of being judged or rejected because of our mistakes, of not having enough time or money to devote to my own personal growth, of settling for survival as good enough and just getting by.

After seeing first-hand what was possible, I decided I was done with settling.

I was going to thrive. And I started to.

I engaged fully in community: faithfully attending weekly meetings where I absorbed the strength and wisdom of others on similar journeys through hugs, tears, stories, and laughter. For years, I hardly missed a week.

I engaged fully in embodiment: learning how to use my body to release fear and find the warmth and tingle of divine connection through fitness, yoga, and meditation. My workouts and meditations were top daily priorities and I didn’t miss them.

I immersed myself in mindfulness-based psychology: working with trained therapists and spiritual teachers, immersing myself in courses and trainings that helped me understand and name what was happening inside me through both science and spirituality. This was a significant investment in both time and money.

I’d been thriving with these pillars for about 3 years when I was hit by my toughest challenge yet: a moment that made it clear that my husband was still in mindsets I couldn’t trust, and I was still unconsciously trying to control his behavior.

I couldn’t believe it: after all that work. After all that therapy. We were still stuck in our unconscious ways.

This moment called for my deepest surrender. It helped me see the fears I was still running from: the fears underneath the surface reality of my problems.

I realized that my identity was entirely wrapped up in my roles as mother and wife, the family and faith expectations I had internalized. I didn’t know how to be myself. In a lot of ways, I didn’t know who I was.

I realized I was still terrified of the unknown. It was so hard to let go of control and trust life, trust God, when I had no idea where that would take me. I was still grasping, still trying to secure an outcome that felt safe.

I realized how much desperate energy was attached to my wanting to be a good person. But whose definitions was I living by? I was still hooked into other people’s rules and opinions of me. I could sense this was holding me back from my most powerful, authentic self and the inner freedom I longed for.

This awakening was the real moment of decision for me: more of a jumping off the cliff than anything I had previously done. It was the moment I truly let go and offered my whole life to God, the Universe, a Greater Good—wherever that would lead me.

I stopped trying to manage my husband (or anybody else), control the outcome, or control other people’s perceptions of me, and I started living a grand experiment, focusing my full attention inward:

What is at my center right now, in this present moment?

Is my heart open? Do I feel connected to myself, to God?

What do I need to take ownership of, to make myself right, inside and out, right now?

What is life asking of me in this moment, and am I willing to give it, with my whole heart?

This was a whole nother level of living: a whole nother level of surrender and thriving and accountability and growth. And it would take me on a next-level journey.

If you’re a sucker for a crazy happy ending, watch for my email tomorrow, because what happened next still blows my mind.

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The moment that changed my life forever…eventually for the better

Eleven years ago, I was a busy, juggling mom of four. I had one kid on my hip, another tugging my arm, and the other two chasing circles as I navigated hefty church responsibilities and a part-time job teaching University fitness classes. My husband had recently started his own business, and even though it was stressful, I thought we were living the dream.

The desperate striving, the nonstop calendars, the frequent arguments—I thought it was all normal —the price of success even, and I just kept swimming.

A year later, on a quiet Sunday night after our kids were in bed, my husband disclosed an extramarital relationship that completely rocked my world.

I spent days in bed with covers pulled over my head. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I was flat on my face, broken. All the balls I was juggling lay scattered on the floor, and for the first time in my life, I had no drive or capacity to pick them up. I was stunned. Baffled. Enraged. Hopeless.

I had no idea what to do.

For over a year, I desperately flailed for somebody to rescue me. I devotedly did everything I could think of: I read books, pored through scriptures, listened to podcasts, went to therapy, met with church leaders, wrote hundreds of journal pages. My husband was fully on board to do all he could to save our marriage and he quickly found sobriety from his acting out behaviors.

But it didn’t fix the dark, gaping hole I felt inside.

A year past rock bottom, my husband and I attended a large Conference focused on the very problems we were dealing with. My heart was pounding as I walked into the crowded halls, buzzing with people. I was afraid I would see someone I knew. I was afraid of our shameful secret.

But I was even more compelled to hear the speakers: authors whose books I had read and who had walked through the very darkness we were stuck in. So we went, crossing our fingers that we would quietly blend into the background.

As my husband and I settled into our seats, our hands tightly clasped, my fears melted away. The words spilling out from presenters’ mouths told our story, spoke my heart. These people knew what I was experiencing, and they knew what it took to heal from it because they had done it themselves.

After a year of running in circles and going nowhere, I could feel the difference between going through motions with “theoretical experts” and getting in the trenches with lived-experience warriors who could help walk me through my own journey.

Attending this Conference turned out to be a crucial turning point, for several reasons.

One: We actually DID run into people we knew there—and amazingly, it was fine! They seemed happy to see us, and didn’t ask any personal details. In fact, it was a huge relief to realize that maybe we weren’t alone in our struggles.

Two: Suddenly we had access to a specialized toolkit we hadn’t even known existed—people, strategies, and resources that could help us deeply heal—for the long haul.

From that point forward, everything began to change for us, but not overnight. In fact, this moment was just the beginning: the moment we realized we couldn’t do it on our own.

There were so many challenges to face before we reached the point we are now, where we can honestly claim this 12-step promise: “We will not regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it.”

Tomorrow I’ll fill you in on the bumpy road this beginning led to: a messy middle that would ask me to face challenges I could never have expected.

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Why I Need Mindfulness Every Day With My Teenagers

I am a parent of 5 kids – 3 of which are teenagers. My oldest just finished his Freshman year of college. Just a few years back, he famously declared “I can’t wait to get out of this s*!thole!” as he slammed the door in my face.

This was a fitting introduction to what this new parenting season was going to look like. Pretty much every day, I use mindfulness to navigate my interactions with my teenagers, asking myself:

“Am I willing to deeply listen to what they have to say?”

“Am I holding the boundaries that feel like integrity to me?”

“Am I modeling the kind of honesty & accountability I’m asking for from them?”

“Am I a safe space for them to be exactly who they are?”

Almost overnight, it sometimes seems I’ve gone from being their hero to being their most embarrassing moment. Everything I say is wrong or offensive. Every disappointment or frustration they feel is somehow my fault.

On a personal level, it’s not an easy place to sit. I spend my fair share of time mindfully tending to my own emotions amidst what feels like a lot of pushback and rejection.

But as I consider our bumpy roads, I’m reminded of the deep human longing that underlies so much of our shifting relationship.

The longing for FREEDOM. 

As I watch my kids push and pull, test limits, reject ideas, pave their own path, create their own style, mindfulness helps me recognize this motivating factor underneath it all—a reaching for freedom, for authenticity—the same deep yearning I share.

The self-knowledge and clarity to say: This is who I am.

The acceptance and safety to know I can be whoever I want to be.

The clear understanding that I get to choose. I get to decide.

This longing, this hero’s journey, is alive in all of us, I think. And it’s often quite messy to figure out. How many mistakes have I made in the pursuit of finding myself? Plenty.

In the heart of teenagehood, a parent’s voice might be the last sound that a kid will listen to—I don’t know that there’s any way around this.

That’s why it’s been so powerful to be on a shared journey with my kids through this turbulent time.

Through mindfulness, we’re both learning how to hear and deeply understand our own voice—the voice of our Highest Self—which we find through our own body-mind-spirit.

Mindfulness guides us to hold ourselves in loving curiosity and trust this inner compass. Whatever we may be experiencing, we can ask:

How does this feel inside me?  What are the fruits of this choice? Is this how I want to be showing up in the world?

Our own body-mind-spirit knows best. It is a Divine instrument we can trust.

Authenticity is FREEDOM—and I want this joyful state for myself and for my kids. I see its fruits as I watch them make their way into powerful, messy, beautiful adults.

Now my son calls home almost daily to check in, seeks our advice on relationships and career choices, and is often reading a mindfulness or self-help book and talking about his “frequency.”

He loves every chance he gets to come back and visit the “s*!thole” he left a year ago.

I am so proud of the man he’s becoming, and so grateful for the tools he’s found that are far more reliable than we are as well-meaning but fallible parents:

The ability to know and think and feel for himself, looking inward and upward to find his next right step from a spiritual center in this adventure called life.

If you’ve got teenagers or young adults who are looking for FREEDOM & AUTHENTICITY and could use some help carving their path, check out our Mindfulness Courses for youth and young adults.

We’d love to have them–and to have you too!  Our mindfulness programs for youth, young adults and grown-ups all start in the middle of August. You can learn more about them here.

Wishing all of us the best of luck with our little s*!theads,
Becky

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Why Sallie Still Inspires Me… an Incredible Journey of Healing through the Body

When Sallie first reached out to me to ask me if I thought The Lifehouse Body & Soul Practice could help her, I told her “Absolutely.”

Sallie had lost her husband a year earlier to cancer, leaving her a widow and single mother to four children. She was making her way, involved in support groups, and recently remarried to a wonderful man who’d also lost his wife to cancer. 

With a now-blended family of eight kids, Sallie had so much to live for and so many reasons to get herself back to where she was fully functioning.

But even with all the efforts she’d made, she felt that there was still healing that needed to happen. She bravely showed up to Practice at Lifehouse Body & Soul. 

Sallie was a natural with group exercise. She was strong, beautiful, and physically fit, and she attacked our challenging morning workouts with energy. 

It was the second half of class, the part of class where we slow things down, breathe, stretch, feel our bodies, and create space for our emotions to process, where Sallie struggled at first. 

I’ll never forget the first classes where I witnessed Sallie’s entire body clench up: her shoulders tight, her hips refusing to let go, her breath caught in her chest, afraid to release all that her body had been carrying for the past months. Tears overflowed and the intensity was almost too much for her to bear.

Sallie would text me after Practice, “I feel so much emotion, there’s so much coming up for me. Is this normal?” she would ask.

“Yes, it is. You’ve experienced a life-altering trauma, and your body is holding onto all that pain, all that fear. Unfortunately, if you really want to heal, you can’t go over it, under it, or around. You’re going to have to go through. And you’re strong enough to do it, here….with all of us holding you up. You’re not alone.” 

I knew this because I had moved through my own grief. I had felt the same resistance. I encouraged her to keep coming, and Sallie did, so bravely, so consistently. 

It wasn’t long before Sallie’s body stopped fighting. Practice classes gave her the opportunity to keep softening, keep listening, keep surrendering to the emotions that had gotten stuck when life had forced her into survival mode. 

She came to our Mindful Living Course classes devotedly and learned a whole new vocabulary to match the organic process she was experiencing through her body.

Mantras like “Thy will, not mine, be done,” “There is room for this, too,” and “I can’t, He can, and I will let Him,” became life rafts in the turbulent sea of her healing.

Over time, it was a sacred privilege to witness Sallie transform, to watch her body literally heal from the hard-wired trauma responses that had become an unwelcome override to her operating system.

Sallie became one of our most dedicated students, crediting the mindfulness tools and sacred space of love and acceptance in this community for her miraculous healing journey through the darkness of her profound grief, giving her the tools to propel herself towards a bright  future.

At Lifehouse Body & Soul, we don’t have any magic wands nor do we profess a systematic strategy guaranteed to fix all your problems. 

In our experience, that’s just not how deep, spiritual healing works.

We simply offer the grounded, intuitive, and time-tested tools and compassionate framework that can help you find yourself: mind, body, and spirit. 

We teach self-reflection: how to observe without judgment. How to respond with love. How to allow discomfort without resisting it. How to trust that you really are big enough to hold pain and uncertainty and deeply know that you will never be asked to do it alone.

The most surprising thing for so many people to realize is that everything they were looking for all along, is already right here, within them, exactly as they are. 

People like Sallie become true, spiritual friends; fellow travelers on a lifetime journey of personal growth. 

If you or someone you know is interested in a soul-level transformation to heal what is still not yet aligned in your heart or bodily tissues, we’d love to work with you. With consistent practice, an open mind, and a willing heart, there is nothing that cannot be healed.

A free consultation can help you understand which of our programs might be the best fit for you. We would love nothing more than to help you find the joy and inner freedom you were born for.

We’re so grateful to Sallie for being part of our Body & Soul family and allowing us to share her story.

With Love & Gratitude,

Becky

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Inner Freedom — The Purpose of Mindfulness

Tomorrow is Independence Day–the day we pause to honor our nation’s heritage and history.

Of all the values that define America, perhaps it’s freedom that most inspires.

What does freedom mean to you?

Does it mean you get to do what you want?

That nobody can tell you how to live your life?

Does it mean equal opportunity and expanded choice?

All of these are meaningful benefits of living in a free country and the “life, liberty and pursuit of happiness” that our forefathers so wisely saw to protect, but what about inner freedom? 

What if American independence was paving the way toward an even deeper step in the spiritual evolution of the planet?

Inner Freedom means the ability to meet all of life from a place of love, trust, joy, and willingness. 

…to serve each moment with the Highest within you and allow the ride to be bumpy or smooth as it will.

Consider: Do I have the ability to move through life without allowing my experiences to hijack my sense of well-being or happiness?

If I can’t sit through a political debate without shouting at the television screen, am I really free?

If I can’t interact with my mother-in-law without feeling triggered, is that freedom?

If I can’t say no because I’m so afraid of what others will think of me, do I really have a choice?

These are deeper, more internal ways of looking at our personal freedoms, and what’s interesting is, nobody can take these choices from us.

They are totally in our own control.

Mindfulness is about as American as it gets, because at its core, it’s about the pursuit of inner freedom.

Inner freedom is impossible without some core spiritual awakenings:

  1. There is a difference between my Higher Self (the part of me that is wise, connected, whole, Divine) and my personal self (what some spiritual teachers call the ego or false self).

  2. The personal self is and always will be driven by fear and desire. It will always be endlessly self-serving, irritated, complaining, or attempting to make itself a victim.

  3. The purpose of life is to use every single experience, every single moment, as an opportunity to let go of the personal self, and to instead serve the moment with the Highest that is in me  –  centered, intentional, and free.

In other words: Letting go of the personal self = inner freedom = the purpose of life

Mindfulness and meditation can help us awaken to both:

  •  the Higher Self that is free, unbounded, whole, and found through embodied presence…
  • AND the personal self that is small, fearful, stressed out, and self-seeking.

The more awareness we have of both of these aspects of our humanity, the more we have the freedom to choose.

Life becomes a game: How deeply and quickly can I let go?

How quickly can I recognize that I’m reacting or resisting from my small personal self and instead relax into experiencing whatever might be arising, with curiosity and non-judgment?

This month, we’ll be exploring Freedom in our weekly emails, and we hope you’ll feel inspired to raise your awareness and your level of self-accountability.

In our view and personal experience, there is nothing that matters more than taking full ownership of our thoughts, minds, mindsets, and actions…from a place of love, trust, and curiosity.

It’s the adventure of a lifetime; a personal revolution as messy and world-changing as the one we’ll celebrate tomorrow with fireworks, corn on the cob, and country music.

Let’s be part of the energy that will allow this world, this nation, our friends and neighbors, ourselves, to heal and find the wholeness and humanity we’re all capable of.

Your Fellow on the Journey,
Becky